


I'd Say I Love You

by AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, re-post from 2013
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 04:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell/pseuds/AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell
Summary: And he knows it’s his fault. He brought these demons into her life.





	I'd Say I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> And a BIG special thank you goes to the wonderful clairebare for beta reading!

**I’d say I love you  
**

**.**

**.**

He’s sitting at his desk in the attic-

_(watching the shadows around him)-_

listening to the rain drumming against the window.

_(Counting down the seconds)._

It’s one of those endless nights-

_(he’s spending alone in the dark)-_

waiting for the sun to rise.

(Waiting for another day to come).

.

It’s past midnight-

_(and he’s on his way to the kitchen)-_

when he finds her in her office.

_(Sleeping on a bunch of papers in the middle of her desk)._

He’s standing in the doorframe-

_(watching her in the dim light)-_

fighting the guilt thats rushing through his veins almost instantly.

She looks lost-

_(broken)-_

scared.

_(And he knows it’s his fault)._

(He brought these demons into her life).

.

For a moment he’s just standing there-

_(looking down at her sleeping form)-_

praying that one day she’ll be able to forgive him.

_(And go on with her life)._

He wants to tell her that he never meant to hurt her-

_(wants to tell her that he will never hurt her again)-_

but it would be a lie.

(And he already told her to many of those).

_._

He bends down beside her slowly-

_(wishing he hadn’t seen the tears on her cheeks)-_

touching her hand softly.

_(Whispering her name)._

She’s mumbling something-

_(stirring in her sleep)-_

her hand blindly reaching for his.

.

He takes hers softly-

_(his arm tightly around her waist)-_

pulling her up to her feet.

He’s holding her close-

_(surprised she’s not even fighting him)-_

and he can’t stop wondering how long she hadn’t been sleeping in the first place.

(It’s his fault too).

.

He sits down with her on the couch-

_(her head resting on his chest)-_

his hand still holding hers.

_(Both of them holding on tightly)._

(Afraid of losing the other).

_._

There are only three names left on his list now-

_(their days together already numbered)-_

and he still doesn’t know how to tell her goodbye.

_(How to let her go)._

(That’s what he promised Bosco so many years ago).

.

He’s listening to her breathing-

_(tears burning behind his closed eyes)-_

thinking about all the things he wants to tell her.

_(Thinking about all the things he can’t)._

_(Not now)._

Not ever.

.

But for now-

_(he allows himself to close his eyes too)-_

and pretend things could be different.

_(He knows it’s what she’s dreaming about)._

(And for tonight he does too).

.

_(If I could tell you now, I’d say I love you)._

**.**

**.**


End file.
